I pray karma isn't real
for I'd never want you to feel
how I feel.
Ich habe um uns gekämpft, ich habe mehr um dich gekämpft, als jemals um einen anderen Menschen. Doch weißt du, das Problem ist, dass es niemals genug ist, wenn nur einer kämpft. Wenn nur einer alles gibt. Wenn nur einer bleiben will und wenn nur einer festhält. Denn wenn der andere schon längst losgelassen hat, tut es nur umso mehr weh, umso länger man kämpft. Doch ans Ziel kommt man so niemals. Man kommt niemals an, wenn beide unterschiedliche Ziele haben.
But deep inside I'm sad. I still hope. I deserve to hope and i deserve someone to fight for me. I never did anything wrong, I never cheated, never even wanted to, never lied to him, never nothing. Time wasn't on our side, we had a lot to do. And I'm scared that that's the problem, I'm terrified that he's making a huge mistake. Even though we didn't see each other enough and we had different schedules, it's hard to be happy but I tried my best to make things happen. But, and that's what hurts me, he didn't. I was never aware of nothing, he never told me how he felt. How could I have known or done something to fix everything. God knows I would have done anything for him. Day 7 is accepting what is going on, but hoping for the best. I'm still scared to talk to him, I want to let him as much time on his own as possible. As much time as he needs. But I will never accept to let "us" go without a good fight. I swear I will try and try and try. Try to make him understand how great all this could be. How we should at least try to make things right. If he needs a month, I will stand up an fight, wait, and I will mourn this loss until he makes his final decision.